Especially the Lies
by Vehicle Sunshine
Summary: Fifty loosely-related sentences regarding the Completely True and Wonderful Love between a mentally-unstable copycat and his perpetually confused companion. Harold Boom/Lance Dior


01 - Ring: Every time he heard a bell ring, Lance would compulsively go into a crimp, and Harold would struggle to keep up.

02 - Hero: At first, he thought it was just hero-worship gone wrong, but the more Lance talked about Vince, the more Harold started to suspect something much more sinister.

03 - Memory: He saw a flash of something- of a life before- but an eager "C'mon, hurry up!" and a quick tug on his arm later, it was gone.

04 - Box: It said "My Memory Box" on the top, but it was filled with scratched-out names and photos with one person cut out.

05 - Run: "You move pretty fast- for an old geezer," Lance said, breathless, as they dove into an alley to avoid the aftershocks of their latest gig.

06 - Hurricane: "'Monsoon Boom' doesn't have the same ring to it," Lance said absently over tea one day, but Harold had absolutely no idea what he was talking about.

07 - Wings: "No, really, you'll like this one- It's got McCartney in it and everything!" Lance said hopefully as he held up another album to a cautious Harold.

08 - Cold: "Honestly, it's your own fault for wearing that thing in the middle of winter," Harold chided as Lance shivered in his mirrorball suit- still, he took off his own jacket and slipped it onto the shaking shoulders, even though his Hawaiian shirt provided just as much protection from the elements as the suit.

09 - Red: The color of blood, the color of anger, the color of hatred- to Harold, it was the color of Lance's favorite shade of lipstick, the color of the stain left behind on the flirtini glass, the color he would find on his shirt collar while he was doing the wash.

10 - Drink: Harold wasn't much for drinking, but Lance had a certain way with words and made flirtinis sound like the most delicious things in the universe; Harold wasn't impressed, but smiled and nursed the drink to please him.

11 - Midnight: Lance was hyperventilating like a Cinderella whose dress had turned back to rags mid-kiss with her prince, but Harold, wholly unmoved, just rolled his eyes and said, "It's just a tear, you big girl; we can get you another shirt!"

12 - Temptation: They were close enough that their noses nearly touched, and Harold found himself not caring that both Lance and Vince were watching- he had always wondered what it would be like to kiss himself.

13 - View: "Wow, I can see the stage great from up here!" Lance said gleefully, as Harold tried to maintain his balance and ignore the fact that his head was between Lance's legs.

14 - Music: Every time Lance got swept up into a new genre- rockabilly, skacore, biomusic- Harold had to resist the urge to pop over to the Nabootique and see what Vince was up to.

15 - Silk: "Don't just tear at them like a big oaf- these pants cost me fifty euro, you berk!"

16 - Cover: Lance had assured him that it was just a cover album, but Harold was starting to wonder why they never sat down and thought up songs of their own.

17 - Promise: "Don't let us get like that," Lance said softly, holding his hand tighter as they watched Howard storm out of the Nabootique for what had to be the fifth time that week.

18 - Dream: People crowded around him, shouted his name, his _real _name, bought him drinks and wanted to be friends and told him he was beautiful- and then he woke up.

19 - Candle: Shadows danced like faeries on his face, and Harold could barely contain his excitement as Lance, with an absolutely cheeky grin, blew the flame out.

20 - Talent: "I didn't even know I could play the keyboard," Harold muttered as they walked off the stage- but, hey, he was learning all sorts of things about himself today.

21 - Silence: "You miserable fake!" Harold shouted, and he regretted it the moment the words left his mouth; he had never seen Lance shocked into silence before.

22 - Journey: "Whoever said it wasn't about the destination was an absolute tosser," Lance grumbled as their van started spewing black smoke and Harold borrowed his mobile to call the AA.

23 - Fire: "I don't care what it's supposed to restore, I'm not eating a bloody owl's beak!" Harold snapped as Lance, Canoe, and Umbrollo giggled like schoolgirls, the paper bag spilling its contents on the floor.

24 - Strength: He looked slight and weak from the outside, just about as strong as a newborn Chihuahua afflicted with polio, but Harold had once seen him tear a thick plastic bag to ribbons with his bare hands just to get at the sweets inside, and knew that it was just another act.

25 - Mask: Every once in a while, the mask would slip, and Harold would see Lance for what he really was: A frightened, forgotten little boy playing dress up with someone else's life.

26 - Ice: The glare alone was enough to freeze the blood in his veins, but it was the cold tone he used when he said, "You did _not_ just call me Howard," that really turned his heart to ice.

27 - Fall: "Easy there," Harold said, placing a hand on Lance's back to steady him, "you're ruining our dramatic exit."

28 - Forgotten: Harold knew that there had been something _before_, something before Lance, but he was damned if he could remember what it was.

29 - Dance: It was a jerky, erratic sort of jumping about that Harold felt dishonest calling dancing, but when Lance's pelvis suddenly came into contact with his and seemed intent on staying there, he found that he really didn't care what it was called.

30 - Body: Jutting bones, pale skin, sharp features, an old scar on his back- Harold felt like he only saw the real Lance when his clothes were off.

31 - Sacred: "Heretic," Lance hissed at Harold, shortly after he admitted that he didn't really care for the Stones.

32 - Farewells: "So, I guess this is it," Lance said as the four-way crimp ended to thunderous applause, using the cover of the din to plant a quick kiss on Harold's cheek.

33 - World: "He might've made this universe," Lance said under his breath as they watched their doubles perform yet another crimp, "but I'll be damned if I'll let him keep it without a fight."

34 - Formal: "I think you look absolutely stunning, Mister Dior," Harold said as he helped Lance fix his tie- the International Jazz Enthusiasts Conference's strict dress code made Lance feel a bit stifled, but he was willing to do a lot to keep Harold happy.

35 - Fever: Lance's skin felt like fire to the touch as he stumbled into Harold's arms and- begrudgingly- admitted that, yes, he might be coming down with a little something.

36 - Laugh: It was the first real laugh he had heard from Lance all week- he just wished he hadn't had to nearly concuss himself to get it.

37 - Lies: It was all lies, and he loved every second of it.

38 - Forever: When they finally crossed that physical boundary, Lance asked him if he knew how long forever was; Harold replied that he wasn't quite sure, but he was quite set on finding out.

39 - Overwhelmed: It was quite overwhelming, changing into an entirely different person in less than five minutes, but Lance smiled sweetly and held his hand and told him it was going to be alright, so Harold- for that was his name now- took his word for it.

40 - Whisper: "I really, really hate those guys," Lance whispered into his ear, as if it were some great big secret, as he helped the drunken man stumble home.

41 - Wait: All his life, Lance had cried out, "Wait! Wait for me," and all his life, he had been left behind- until now.

42 - Talk: They liked to talk late into the night, about soup and llamas and bouncy castles, but Harold kept feeling the strangest sense of deja vu, as if it had all been talked about before.

43 - Search: He needed to find the final piece to his ensemble, the piece de resistance, the Howard to his Vince- and he found him, in a mustachioed man wearing a loud Hawaiian shirt, standing innocently on a street corner without any idea as to what he was about to get himself into.

44 - Hope: The look he gave him, of childish excitement and despondent caution, made his heart jump into his throat, but he was still able to choke out, "I love you, too, Lance."

45 - Eclipse: They were on the roof, watching, when it happened: Harold said something about the dark poetry of it all, while Lance just put his head on Harold's shoulder and muttered, "Finally, the great alabaster retard shut up."

46 - Gravity: Simple physics stated that what he was about to do was pretty much impossible and would ultimately end badly, but Lance had never been all that good in school, and jumped onto Harold's shoulders anyway.

47 - Highway: Harold was the only person in the flat who had a license, but that didn't stop the rest of them from telling him how to drive the second they got out on the road.

48 - Unknown: His lover's past was like a great big box- wrapped in chains and decorated with glitter, covered with sweets on the top but filled with spiders at the bottom.

49 - Lock: "And throw away the key," said Lance, deadly serious, as Harold mimed throwing the proverbial key out the bedroom window.

50 - Breathe: Some nights, Harold would just lie awake, listen to Lance's steady breathing, and smile.

* * *

Ah, my first Boosh fanfic, and it's about two characters nobody's ever written for. Because that's how I roll. I hope you enjoyed it, though. Cheers~


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